GCMJM

I think I've got my expectations way up there. Got to start to stop expecting so much seriously.... It's just going to kill me slowly. Okay v'day was a ..... I think I expected too much day. But hey... It turned out awesome in the end. Lotsa memories and things to laugh about. E.g. Me trying to catch a burning lantern.. Ok moving forward... The airshow was actually pretty fun. Black eagles were WOW!! It was hot. I got chao da skin after it all but it's all okay. I got my leave approved for late June-July Japan trip.. HOPEFULLY ( if the bf gets his leave) So the plan is. Budget everything! Budget flights and accommodation. This way, the extra savings can be used on train tickets, Disney tickets, performances, FOOOD, random Japan buys... Etc. because need to  save tts why have such a tight budget. So I've done 50% research and its looking good. Plan is to fly to Osaka, take the shinkansens that are included in the rail pass to Kyoto and then to tokyo. We don...

I signed up for this, i knew from the start that this wouldn't be easy. I thought it was easier than it looked actually... I thought what he said about having absolutely no time was just an exaggeration. Well i was soo sooo wrong. Its not easy. But he has reminded me that anything worth having doesn't come easy and that this will just be a phase that will soon ease off. Soon meaning (Few years...) I've come to realise that the only way to live through this is to keep myself busy, give myself mini projects to occupy my time. Im thinking of leaving my current job.. but that will only happen after the bond. I am not earning what I am potentially capable of. I put in hours in this current place but i don't get any form of compensation or appreciation. So why not put in the hours in another company where my efforts will be paid off..  I could be earning as much as 3x my current pay. So why not? After all I have nothing better to do. Taking leave at this current place is...

Ever since I was little I had to endure the constant agony of keeping silent as you put me down in front of others. Nothing has changed.... You remain the same evil, cunning, ill intentioned person I used to know. Now you have just become more open about putting me down. What's more? You do it in a sarcastic , indirect manner so as to put your point across and covering your ass. I'm not silly, I can read btw the lines and I know that your evil mouth cannot be sealed. You say nasty things about me that are untrue to family and friends. What do I do? I just keep quiet. You tell these people to keep what you told them from me or else I'd get angry? Why? Because you know that if they questioned me, your lies would be exposed. You're supposed to be family. But honestly... I think you are far from it. You act like you want the best for me or that you would help me when ure In front of familiar faces. But what u really want is to put me down so that you make yourself ...

1 year has passed. The day has come for me to finally register! It is definitely by far the heaviest load off my shoulders. Ive always thought that uni exams and projects were tough.... well... projects and logbooks for pre-registration took it to a new level! The hardest shit imaginable. Although registering takes heaps off me.. id still have to carry on the project Ive been working at so far. There are so many friggin books i need to get and read.... but they are all friggin NOT FREE! Pay to read a few pages off a book online. JOKE! ugh... this makes me think of something... but i shall not think further. Anyways... Other than work life. Life outside of work has been okay i guess. Could be better but I'm contented. I need to learn to save more and spend less... I'm still bringing my own lunch to work which helps heaps.. but still need to save more. And no, I'm not saving cause i wanna buy something. I'm finally saving for no reason. I plan to hit the gym onc...

I think that i have to learn to live life as it comes. I should stop having expectations and stop day dreaming. Start living the now rather than living... what might not be, Living in the future. Living the future 'what you expect for the future' will only lead to a lot of disappointment... well not always but you just forget to live fully now. I find myself questioning myself time and again, 'why isnt this like that?' 'why hasnt it happened?!' , 'will it be?'... so stressful!! Ive to learn to be truely happy for what i already have and to start having faith and strength in believing that what i have is indeed good and that i have it way better than anyone out there. I know that i am a fortunate individual but i fail time and again count my blessings and realise that i have alot to smile about. My problem is that i anticipate too much in my overworked brain. I think too much when i can clearly be thinking less and take things as they are.... no...

Its been quite awhile since i last blogged. Since i have time now, i shall update this thing before cobwebs start accumulating. Yesterday was interesting. So we went for tea at goodwood park hotel with the grandma, aunty, mom, sister and her husband and me and W.  The only thing i can say is, thank god there were 2 cars. It was an afternoon filled with pretence.... i feel. People being nice for the sake of being nice. I'm just glad its over and done with. After tea, we proceeded to grandmas place, where we met another aunty and her 'husband'? and her 2 dogs. Again, it was fake smiles and there was a weird feeling in the air. Honestly i don't ever want to be in the same scenario ever again. SO FAKE! Enough about fake people. so it was W's dad's bday yesterday too. So they invited me to join them for dinner. We went to the meridians, spices cafe. Not too bad i think. it was an all you can eat buffet. half a  lobster each person, as much crab as you can ea...

Things are getting more stressful at work. more staying back more log-booking, more project meetings and more studying for the upcoming competency. How can one juggle so much? Do they think i am a robot? ok maybe they just think im very capable..  Its just very stressful. Very tiring. Very Very Tiring. This rotation has proven to be the opposite from what i expected it to be. Im actually loving it more than i thought i would. Ive made so many good friends in this rotation that i wanna just remain here forever. And i think this wld be my posing anyway since im performing up-to-standard... i think. Everything else has been going smooth so far and im thankful! The only minor set back, is a minor sore throat and sneezes.. other than that, life has been pretty good. I was supposed to go to universal studios on sunday but decided against it as character dining only happens once weekly on sats! So we've decided it wld be smarter to just go on a sat. Went to try the oh-so-raved abo...