GCMJM

I think that i have to learn to live life as it comes. I should stop having expectations and stop day dreaming. Start living the now rather than living... what might not be, Living in the future. Living the future 'what you expect for the future' will only lead to a lot of disappointment... well not always but you just forget to live fully now. I find myself questioning myself time and again, 'why isnt this like that?' 'why hasnt it happened?!' , 'will it be?'... so stressful!! Ive to learn to be truely happy for what i already have and to start having faith and strength in believing that what i have is indeed good and that i have it way better than anyone out there. I know that i am a fortunate individual but i fail time and again count my blessings and realise that i have alot to smile about. My problem is that i anticipate too much in my overworked brain. I think too much when i can clearly be thinking less and take things as they are.... no...

Its been quite awhile since i last blogged. Since i have time now, i shall update this thing before cobwebs start accumulating. Yesterday was interesting. So we went for tea at goodwood park hotel with the grandma, aunty, mom, sister and her husband and me and W.  The only thing i can say is, thank god there were 2 cars. It was an afternoon filled with pretence.... i feel. People being nice for the sake of being nice. I'm just glad its over and done with. After tea, we proceeded to grandmas place, where we met another aunty and her 'husband'? and her 2 dogs. Again, it was fake smiles and there was a weird feeling in the air. Honestly i don't ever want to be in the same scenario ever again. SO FAKE! Enough about fake people. so it was W's dad's bday yesterday too. So they invited me to join them for dinner. We went to the meridians, spices cafe. Not too bad i think. it was an all you can eat buffet. half a  lobster each person, as much crab as you can ea...

Things are getting more stressful at work. more staying back more log-booking, more project meetings and more studying for the upcoming competency. How can one juggle so much? Do they think i am a robot? ok maybe they just think im very capable..  Its just very stressful. Very tiring. Very Very Tiring. This rotation has proven to be the opposite from what i expected it to be. Im actually loving it more than i thought i would. Ive made so many good friends in this rotation that i wanna just remain here forever. And i think this wld be my posing anyway since im performing up-to-standard... i think. Everything else has been going smooth so far and im thankful! The only minor set back, is a minor sore throat and sneezes.. other than that, life has been pretty good. I was supposed to go to universal studios on sunday but decided against it as character dining only happens once weekly on sats! So we've decided it wld be smarter to just go on a sat. Went to try the oh-so-raved abo...

There are some things that are beyond your control and you just have to conform if not .... you're screwed.  If i cant finish work on time cause something happened that just means i cant. its not school anymore... its work. im getting paid for this. ok enough about this. its frustrating. On a better brighter note. i dont have to tell people awkwardly tt we arn't tgt  when they ask if we are from now on. Cause we are ! yay! im glad we are keeping it down low anyhow.. more publicity means more haters and more haters means more trouble, more trouble means ..... well... trouble. Store rotation has been fun. Slack to the max and the uncles there are soooooo nice! Love it there. I literally go to work happy. Why cant everyone be like that at work? And lastly, im going to the zoo tmr! cant wait! Freeeeeee entry cause i managed to ballot successfully for the pass. cant wait cant wait. but sadly the pandas are at a diff area ... only accessible by river safari which is anothe...

Funny how things work. I recall the past relationship i had... i recall being devastated that it ended. I felt that life was cruel and that everything was against me. I hated how i felt. Didnt have an appetite, didnt wanna go out, didnt even wanna listen to music. I was basically depressed. Now, i look back! I laugh! I shld have been the happiest person on the planet. To be able to get out of such a shit relationship and realise i deserve much more than a shit person.  I was lucky to get out of that rutt. If i didnt realise sooner ... i would hv carried on and still be in that rutt. Im thankful shit happened. If not for the shit that happened i would not have met him today. I wouldnt have known what this happiness felt like. I Would not have realised that being treated like a princess was a possibility. I guess not all bad things that happen are bad. Some bad things happen just so u find something more awsome . Something u deserve more.

Was lucky to get a 1 and a half day proj time off today. Decided to go have lunch with him ... we ended up at Prive at Keppel island. Reminds me of Brisbane... somewhat. Thereafter, we walked to vivo city and had starbucks.. chatted abit and walked abit. Introduced him to boost juice, got a blend of (pineapple,orange,ginger and mango) juice. He was a lil afraid of trying the ginger bit but did it anyway. After trying it.... it was all good!. Some not so nice things happened and he had to explain some things to me. Seems like he is really not the kind to see things from my perspective.

So just some updates on whats going on. He asked me out on Friday night... basically saying that his friends were going to hang out at pasir ris park and if i would like to join in. So......... if u don't already know... im not all that sociable. I don't do very well with new people. BUT i could tell from his texts that he really wanted me to be there to meet them. Like he thought it was about time for them to meet me and me them..... kinda ... i think. I also felt that he thought that it was important to see me get along with his friends first as a deciding factor if we could progress on with anything.... if any. So i went. And so i met new people. They were okay... i guess. Friendly. Only one of em' i wasn't too impressed with. Thereafter he asked if i was free after sending ALL of them home. Of coz say free la... siao or what. So we went to ECP and we both got coffees. All hyped up and energised we walked to the jetty and he wanted to throw me over =/. yuppp...