GCMJM

I burnt a big hole in my pocket and got measlf a disney sewing machine. It is a friggin amazing machine. I can safely say that I've found something I am Absolutely in love with. Sewing stuff transports me to another world where I Forget everything. All I want to do is see and create things that amaze me. I wish I could do this as a job, I'd be so so happy to just sit there, measure stuff , cut cloth and sew! Dream come true! I find myself spending all my free time learning and reading more about sewing , embroidery , getting paper patterns and all the swine sewing gadgets! Next up, I might get a serger but that's not necessary at the moment. But I am Searching for a mini iron for my seams and stuff. Can't keep using my flat iron That's ment for my hair... Haha December is fast approaching!! That means holiday is coming soon!!!!!! Okay bai

Always like that! Always back to square 1. Print application with excitement then fill it out with excitement then suddenly stupid thoughts stream through the head.... Maybe it's not such a good decision, u might regret this, what if this and what if that? Always no courage. Sick of this battle in my head. I'm so lost, I don't know what I should do. I know what seems right to do but what is right isn't what I know will satisfy what my heart wants. Both options have equal pros and cons but only one is a now or never opportunity. Yes , there's a possibility I'll hate it and there's a possibility I might regret. But I'll never know if I don't try. Ugh... By far, the HARDEST decision I've had to make in my entire life! need some friggin good reason to sway my decision now

I've made up my mind and it will not sway anymore. I want to do this cause it will make me happy and it is time I start doing something for me and not someone else. I'm tired of doing stuff to make someone else happy cause in the end, I end up unhappy and that isn't what I want. October 11 here I come, finally.

Finally got myself health insurance. Feels good. Quite ex but okay la... its a must get anyway. House hunting is tiring, i dont get how houses are so expensive! Expensive is not the word! ITS UNAFFORDABLE! i feel so poor looking at these prices. Low is considered 1.2million?!!! WTH And not in a fantastic location even. Well the lower the price the more inaccessible. Sucks! WHY?!! WHY so ex!! Plus the houses being built is just getting smaller and smaller. Common rooms just nicely fit a queen bed and thats it, u only can walk on the perimeter of the bed and no space for anything else!! SIAO man. Then comes the decision between freehold and 99 years. Not much of a decision cause the price difference is enough to help me make a choice. Freehold is out of my league... although it makes more sense. But too bad, imma poor person. Work... more responsibilities everyday, working is piling on me. i feel suffocated already. I dont wanna stay on. I have made up my mind, im going somewhe

And so what I deemed special isn't anymore. It's all a lie. I don't understand anymore. I'm beginning to let go and lose hope. No more motivation no more drive. I'm giving up.

House hunting for the past month has been an eye opener. Houses are so goddamn expensive! Everything seems to be above a million . Sure ! There are loans but take a million loan? And work all your life to pay it off? No travels ? No indulgences ? No room for fun ? Just work work work work work? Have to find something that strikes a balance but so far , nothing. The one that I want is way out of budget! :( sadness. Oh well .... Got to move on and keep on searching. So much more to think about other than work. My brain is working overtime. Work has become a routine thing that I dread everyday. I feel like I'm in a very small box! No space to move , no space to grow. Work ot, no extra pay, can't even claim hours, so  why should I put in extra time? Why should I dedicate myself to work when there isn't any job satisfaction. Can't wait to make a switch. Least wherever I'm going I know that the harder I work the more rewards I'll reap. This way there's m

Work has been getting more tiring over the past few weeks. I dont know where all these patients are coming from but whatever it is, it is NON-STOP dispensing the whole day. Some people dont even see me the entire day and realise im at work only at the end of the day just cause im outside dispensing the whole goddamn day. So tiring... plus i have a stupid project to finish. So much more responsibilities now... so crappy :( Ive been trying my best to go to the gym more regularly now. Not easy but, ill do my best. Things are getting more real now. We are going to evaluate our home loan borrowing capacity this Saturday if all goes well. Which bank to get the loan from. i have no idea.. but ive got to do some homework. got to familiarise myself between the fixed and floating loans ... so much to read up on and so many banks to compare to get the best rates available. There after we would probably go look at some houses... shits getting real. Going to Japan late june and i cannot wait

If I've learnt anything the past month it is to be oblivious to things around u, shut up, keep information to yourself and that goes for your opinions too. Never trust anyone. If u know something good for u and move on and away from it all. Remove yourself from all situations even if u think you have to step up and do something about it. Apart from my epiphany I have had a good march and first bit of April. Met benji and coco, I want to puppy-nap them! Cute puppies. The boyfriend is finally home after a month and a half  which was not as tough as I thought It would be. It was hard the first 2 weeks then I just got used to it. Thank god for technology. So there's a good tip write up for travelers to japan ,  http://edition.cnn.com/2014/04/06/travel/japan-travel-tips/index.html?c&page=5 . Very very very insightful. Hoping to make a trip to japan late June. So, little updates, we have set a timeline for  ourselves. We've decided that June will be the month we sit

I think I've got my expectations way up there. Got to start to stop expecting so much seriously.... It's just going to kill me slowly. Okay v'day was a ..... I think I expected too much day. But hey... It turned out awesome in the end. Lotsa memories and things to laugh about. E.g. Me trying to catch a burning lantern.. Ok moving forward... The airshow was actually pretty fun. Black eagles were WOW!! It was hot. I got chao da skin after it all but it's all okay. I got my leave approved for late June-July Japan trip.. HOPEFULLY ( if the bf gets his leave) So the plan is. Budget everything! Budget flights and accommodation. This way, the extra savings can be used on train tickets, Disney tickets, performances, FOOOD, random Japan buys... Etc. because need to  save tts why have such a tight budget. So I've done 50% research and its looking good. Plan is to fly to Osaka, take the shinkansens that are included in the rail pass to Kyoto and then to tokyo. We don

I signed up for this, i knew from the start that this wouldn't be easy. I thought it was easier than it looked actually... I thought what he said about having absolutely no time was just an exaggeration. Well i was soo sooo wrong. Its not easy. But he has reminded me that anything worth having doesn't come easy and that this will just be a phase that will soon ease off. Soon meaning (Few years...) I've come to realise that the only way to live through this is to keep myself busy, give myself mini projects to occupy my time. Im thinking of leaving my current job.. but that will only happen after the bond. I am not earning what I am potentially capable of. I put in hours in this current place but i don't get any form of compensation or appreciation. So why not put in the hours in another company where my efforts will be paid off..  I could be earning as much as 3x my current pay. So why not? After all I have nothing better to do. Taking leave at this current place is

Ever since I was little I had to endure the constant agony of keeping silent as you put me down in front of others. Nothing has changed.... You remain the same evil, cunning, ill intentioned person I used to know. Now you have just become more open about putting me down. What's more? You do it in a sarcastic , indirect manner so as to put your point across and covering your ass. I'm not silly, I can read btw the lines and I know that your evil mouth cannot be sealed. You say nasty things about me that are untrue to family and friends. What do I do? I just keep quiet. You tell these people to keep what you told them from me or else I'd get angry? Why? Because you know that if they questioned me, your lies would be exposed. You're supposed to be family. But honestly... I think you are far from it. You act like you want the best for me or that you would help me when ure In front of familiar faces. But what u really want is to put me down so that you make yourself

1 year has passed. The day has come for me to finally register! It is definitely by far the heaviest load off my shoulders. Ive always thought that uni exams and projects were tough.... well... projects and logbooks for pre-registration took it to a new level! The hardest shit imaginable. Although registering takes heaps off me.. id still have to carry on the project Ive been working at so far. There are so many friggin books i need to get and read.... but they are all friggin NOT FREE! Pay to read a few pages off a book online. JOKE! ugh... this makes me think of something... but i shall not think further. Anyways... Other than work life. Life outside of work has been okay i guess. Could be better but I'm contented. I need to learn to save more and spend less... I'm still bringing my own lunch to work which helps heaps.. but still need to save more. And no, I'm not saving cause i wanna buy something. I'm finally saving for no reason. I plan to hit the gym onc